Thursday, January 29, 2015

Pick-Me-Up: I Feel Pretty

I've got so much homework to do, I am supposed to meet friends for dinner and I have been going back and forth with my insurance company and doctor's office ALL day trying to get my new Dysautonomia trial started up. I am tired, feel gross, have no desire to put on real clothes, and just want to cry.

Today has just stunk.


My dear friend who knows my love for excellent song covers sent me this video and it completely lifted my spirits.
Here's hoping you feel pretty today!

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Grace in Weakness

I hate the word "weak". Especially in relation to me. I just hate it. But recently, I have realized that weak is a good word to describe myself.

Now before you go off on me for talking down about myself and anything else you want to say hear me out.

I have a disease with no cure.
My body uses double the energy for everyday activities as a healthy person.
I can't drive.
I struggle in college with a lighter load than most of my peers.
Some days I can't even get out of bed.
I cry almost every other day.
I am always at my doctor's office for tests and visits. 

By the world's standards, I am weak. In survival of the fittest, I would not make the cut. 
That's not me feeling sorry for myself, it's the honest truth. 

And that used to drive me INSANE. Regardless of my situation, I wanted to be seen as powerful, capable, strong. 

I selfishly prayed to the Father to take away my problems, for a healing. Not so that He would be glorified, but that I would be. 

But recently this verse has been popping up everywhere. And I mean everywhere. 

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 CEV
"Three times I begged the Lord to make this suffering go away. But he replied, “My gift of undeserved grace is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak.” So if Christ keeps giving me his power, I will gladly brag about how weak I am. Yes, I am glad to be weak or insulted or mistreated or to have troubles and sufferings, if it is for Christ. Because when I am weak, I am strong."
His grace is made perfect in my weakness.

His grace is made PERFECT in my weakness.

It could be through my worldly weakness, He is making His grace known to others.

And if the Father wants to use my life as a vessel to make His grace evident, then I am honored to be weak.

Does this knowledge make my struggle any easier?

Does knowing that the Father is using my struggles to bring others to Himself make it worth it? 
Yes. Always. 

Monday, January 12, 2015

Adventures in DC

For those of you who didn't know, I spent the first week of January in Alexandria, Virginia which is a suburban area surrounding Washington, DC.

It was INCREDIBLE, but didn't start that way.

Rewind to January 1st, around 11 pm and you would find me in my mother's room crying, asking if it was too late to change my mind about the trip. I was physically hurting and doubting my body's ability to make it through a full week in the cold of the North. Mind you, three of my best friends are in the next room sleeping away, completely stoked about the adventure planned for the next morning.

Against my doubts, I was dressed, ready and in the van Thursday morning on my way to DC. The day of driving passed slowly as we inched north towards upper Virginia. When we finally made it to our new "home", the excitement of the week finally set in.

When we were finally settled in, we were given the story of the church building and how we came to be a part of this project.

The church Woodlawn Baptist had been dying for a long time and when it made the way down to the final members. the decision to gift it to a local church plant project was made.

Enter Pastor Brian.

Brian Collison was a father, Army Reserve and student in South Eastern Seminary when the Father called him to be a church planter. His number in the Army was called up and he and his family were uprooted and moved to DC where he would be a part of a security detail for important members of government. During his time in DC, Brian began going to Pillar Church where the Father made it clear his plan was for Brian and his family to begin a church close to the local military base, Fort Belvoir.

Our job was simple. Woodlawn Baptist gave the building to the Collisons as is. All of their junk and stuff left in it's place. It was our job to clear our the building, organize all of the stuff left from the former church, paint walls and basically give the building a fresh start.

The days of organization and painting passed with friendships blossoming right and left. 22 girls in one small room in an upper, cold room of the church made sure of that. There were times, because of a leak, that we went without water, but there were never any complaints. Our group came together and performed our mission; to serve wholeheartedly.

While we worked hard, we also played hard. Our third day in the area, we spent a few hours in the National Mall taking pictures of monuments and playing the part of perfect tourists. Our nights were filled with Mafia (a classic of the Loft), Jenga, Assassin, Phase 10 and as many games of cards as we could handle.

I couldn't have imagined a better group of people to work, serve and do life with.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

...Hello 2015!

To get the new year started right, I will be going to DC on a mission trip with my college group!
So, you won't be hearing from me until the 7th with the queued first installment of Love Story and then the 9th, I will be back to a regular blogging schedule!

Enjoy your new year!