Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Grace in Weakness

I hate the word "weak". Especially in relation to me. I just hate it. But recently, I have realized that weak is a good word to describe myself.

Now before you go off on me for talking down about myself and anything else you want to say hear me out.

I have a disease with no cure.
My body uses double the energy for everyday activities as a healthy person.
I can't drive.
I struggle in college with a lighter load than most of my peers.
Some days I can't even get out of bed.
I cry almost every other day.
I am always at my doctor's office for tests and visits. 

By the world's standards, I am weak. In survival of the fittest, I would not make the cut. 
That's not me feeling sorry for myself, it's the honest truth. 

And that used to drive me INSANE. Regardless of my situation, I wanted to be seen as powerful, capable, strong. 

I selfishly prayed to the Father to take away my problems, for a healing. Not so that He would be glorified, but that I would be. 

But recently this verse has been popping up everywhere. And I mean everywhere. 

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 CEV
"Three times I begged the Lord to make this suffering go away. But he replied, “My gift of undeserved grace is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak.” So if Christ keeps giving me his power, I will gladly brag about how weak I am. Yes, I am glad to be weak or insulted or mistreated or to have troubles and sufferings, if it is for Christ. Because when I am weak, I am strong."
His grace is made perfect in my weakness.

His grace is made PERFECT in my weakness.

It could be through my worldly weakness, He is making His grace known to others.

And if the Father wants to use my life as a vessel to make His grace evident, then I am honored to be weak.

Does this knowledge make my struggle any easier?
No.

Does knowing that the Father is using my struggles to bring others to Himself make it worth it? 
Yes. Always. 





13 comments:

  1. That is one of my favorite verses. It's such an amazing thing that we don't have to worry about being strong enough to handle everything ourselves. :)

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  2. I too live with chronic illness with no cure that has left me finding God's "grace in weakness" as well! I'm glad I'm not alone, neither are you! Just said a prayer for you sister :) -Kim from www.47grove.com

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    1. Thank you so much Kim!

      I'd love to chat with you and hear about your illness!

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  3. Oh my goodness, so beautifully written, and devastatingly true. I have had a rough week--and a time in my life filled with weakness. Thank you for the reminder that weakness is good when placed in God's capable hands. Blessings on you! I am stopping by from the Peony Project. :-)

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  4. Victoria,

    This is beautiful! It's not easy to be transparent and vulnerable, or to admit our weakness. But it's so important to humble ourselves before our Heavenly Father & admit that without Him, we're really nothing.

    You are going to impact so many lives with your testimony! I'm really excited to learn more about your trip to Madrid, and to pray with you throughout this journey. :)

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  5. Victoria, I just want you to know how much you inspire me. Your words and raw and honest, something a lot of people lack. Your blog is one that I find myself always coming back to. You may be physically weak but I also fully believe that you are incredibly strong in so many other ways. Your heart, your faith, those things. Keep going, beautiful. This fight and this life are so worth the weaknesses. <3
    xo
    alyssa nicole (www.justanothermanicpixiedreamgirl.com)

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    1. Over here in tears!! Thank you Alyssa! Vulnerability has always been an issue for me and through the blog I am learning to open up and be true to who I am and how I feel. Words like yours are such an encouragement that I am on the right track!

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  6. I literally whispered "Lord please bless her" as I kept on reading. By no means was that in pity, but I sincerely felt for you. I cannot relate at the moment, but I do know about the power of prayer!
    Being Perfectly Flawed

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  7. This is so beautiful. I, too, have chronic illness. Wishing you strength, peace, and His love.

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